When you first got wedded, your partner couldn’t stop from cuddling you. Now, you are wondering why he can’t keep his hands off of his PS5 controller. And even if he constantly brushes it off as no big deal, if his video game is going in the way of your marriage, let’s accept it: This is a dilemma. Consider these below to strengthen your relationship.
1. Recognize That Gaming Is a Game, Not the Villain.
When you’re sensing that you are wound up, you proceed on a ten-mile bike ride. When he’s feeling anxious, he opens up his Nintendo Switch. And yet, if he raged that your busted bike riding was going in the way of your relationship, you’d apparently laugh him out of the room. And while biking clearly has substantial benefits that gaming doesn’t, you are both allowed—and promoted—to have different hobbies.
2. BEGIN the Conversation After He’s DONE Gaming.
We are aware, it’s alluring to talk about your views as soon as he begins playing. (“Ugh, do you actually need to do that now? I want you to do a lot of laundry.”) But believe us, this method is going to do more harm than great. Alternatively, wait until he is finished, when neither of you are confused, and you can have a quiet, face-to-face chat about it.
3. Recommend an Agreement.
We don’t want to tell to you, but “stop playing video games forever” isn’t a reasonable request. (Sorry.) Alternatively, say how you feel and clearly describe what could make you feel better. Here’s an example of how your conversation will go:
Wife: Hi, do you have a minute?
Husband: Sure, what’s up?
You: I know you absolutely enjoy playing video games as a stress reliever after work, but when I’m cooking dinner and you don’t ask if I want help, it makes me feel unappreciated. I know you’re exhausted and want to relax, but I struggled all day, too. It would certainly help me if you dived in at dinnertime, and then you can do it later.
Him: Sure, that’s totally fine. My bad you weren’t feeling valued, I didn’t know.